P0RN: Jezebel's Nuclear Weapon
THE INTERNET HAS MADE pornography―once
only a snare for those minority of men willing to go out and buy a magazine―a
trap to us all. And not just the men. Increasingly women are getting caught up
in it too. Pornography is a far greater weapon of destruction in the church
than any activism could ever be. It has become Jezebel’s stronghold, keeping
back a generation of Christians from going forward in confidant spiritual
growth and ministry.
Now let us never
misunderstand: sex is a good gift. We do not think of the human body as bad.
God made it. I am convinced that boobs are a sign that God loves us and wants
us to be happy. Let us give thanks where thanksgiving is due. But pornography
turns our natural sexual drive into a system of chemical terrorism.
One minute
we're going about our business in a state of healthy sanity. The next minute―when
ignited by a low neckline, short skirt, or sensual advertisement―we are grabbed
by a furious desire to pant over cushions of flesh that are forbidden to us. We
run to porn, covet, and believe our soul will only be satiated by the god of
orgasm. Like all sins, this evil is goodness deformed.
Here, we share just a few short
tips that many have found helpful in gaining victory in their own souls.
First of all, realise there is usually no silver bullet.
Rarely is there just one thing you must do in order to never struggle with
sexual lust again. Pornography addiction is―in part―the result of other deep
needs not being met in healthy ways or deep wounds not being properly healed.
As we grow spiritually and find God’s affirmation, acceptance, and love, we
will be less tempted to seek it out on a computer screen. Yes, unless you have
SSA exclusively, then as a man you will always have an attraction to the female
body. But increased health brings
increased self-control. This includes times of prayer, reading, and even
getting enough sleep and eating well.
Secondly, do not isolate yourself. Porn makes a man feel
dirty and guilty. Like Adam, he hides in shame. The ensuing loneliness makes
porn all the more attractive and addiction becomes a downward spiral. Have
quality friendships with brothers you can talk openly with. Also, have healthy
relationships with women. Male-female friendships can be controversial, and it
does have pitfalls. But Scripture commands us to treat women as sisters. We
discuss this in more detail in the book Forbidden
Friendships, but for now we simply note that having healthy relationships
with women can help serve as an emotional deterrent to objectifying them on a
computer screen.
Next, consider dealing with masturbation as a root cause.
Yes, we know the Bible does not specifically mention masturbation and some men
have a huge and often unnecessary guilt complex over this issue. But as a
pastor that has worked with men over the
years on this issue, many have found that they could not overcome pornography
without also eliminating masturbation. Some disagree, but it has definitely
been the experience of many. Porn and masturbation play off each other.
Eliminating the one will help you get rid of the other.
Lastly, do not give up. The first of
Luther’s 95 theses was that a Christian’s whole life should be one of
repentance. Some men (and women) fight this new drug for a season and then give
up after failing many times. Don’t. This may be a war we fight our whole lives―but
our souls are worth fighting for. Never raise the white flag and surrender. Keep
making whatever practical changes are necessary to remove yourself as far from
temptation as you can get: turn the angle of your computer screen to face the
door, pledge to a trusted friend that you will never take your smartphone into
the bathroom, etc. You are in a war.
If we seek to reform a compromised church,
we must reform our compromised selves. Keep doing whatever is necessary to gain
ever-increasing victory over the sexual
chaos Jezebel seeks to bring to your inner life.
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This is an extract from Elijah Men Eat Meat: Readings to slaughter your inner Ahab and pursue Revival and Reform
I'm of the stance that any married man hooked on porn most likely has a wife problem rather than a porn problem .
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